A common challenge I encounter in mediations is the parties' tendency to give up too quickly. It might be a reflection of our current fast-paced society, but it seems we are less patient than we used to be. While many aspects of life move swiftly, successful mediations and negotiations require a different approach: patience and persistence.
One of the key advantages of mediation is that it allows the parties involved to share their stories.
While we usually think of this part of the process in terms of personal injury cases, the same holds true for most mediations. People want to be heard. Every case has a story. Emotions can be found in practically every dispute, not just those involving a wrongful death or a personal injury. And being heard - or rather listening - is often the key to finding solution to the problem or a settlement of the case.
Utilising patience and persistence in mediation provides a valuable opportunity for parties to share their interests – what is important to them. This aspect is crucial to the process. Rushing negotiations before this opportunity is fully utilized rarely yields positive results. As a mediator, I've found that encouraging parties to express their version of the story (complete with any emotions associated with it) is important. And getting those out of the way encourages them to share what is important to them. This unlocks the keys to a successful resolution.
Negotiations take time. They are a process. The terms that parties are willing to accept after a few hours of mediation can be very different from their initial positions. With all the distractions and stresses in today's world, it takes time for parties to focus on the issue at hand – what is really important to them. Once that focus is achieved, they can explore the pros and cons of settlement and consider the various options available to them in mediation—options that are often unavailable in court. However, this too requires patience.
Negotiations involving money usually have two stages. The first stage involves each side aiming for their predetermined goals, which often do not align. Many negotiations fail because parties lose patience and abandon the process when they realize their initial goals won't be met. The second stage is necessary to find some point between these goals. Those who persist often find that they can settle within that gap, which is generally in everyone's best interest.
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